I want the future. I want flash-bang twirly things with lots of glitter. I want machines to tell me in a Kevin Spacey voice that they want to help me. I want clean energy, allergy free cats, and a little umbrella in my coconut drinks.
I think I want a Roomba. The Roomba is the future. You place it down in a room, twirl your finger, and it vacuums your floors. Just like that. After it is done slaving away for you and avoiding the stairs, little Roomba spins around and makes it’s way back home to charge itself. Because that’s what things do in the future, they work wirelessly and then charge themselves. Contrary to what I want, I’m pricing Dyson Vacuum cleaners. Even though the Dyson is more expensive, heavier, and – most importantly – I have to do the manual labor myself, I’ve started pricing Dyson’s. And I’m not alone. Everyone I know has a Dyson. It doesn’t matter that the Roomba does everything everyone has ever said they have wanted in a vacuum. They still go with the large machine that does more or less the same thing as the other large machine they already have, only it does it slightly better.
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