I want the future. I want flash-bang twirly things with lots of glitter. I want machines to tell me in a Kevin Spacey voice that they want to help me. I want clean energy, allergy free cats, and a little umbrella in my coconut drinks.
I think I want a Roomba. The Roomba is the future. You place it down in a room, twirl your finger, and it vacuums your floors. Just like that. After it is done slaving away for you and avoiding the stairs, little Roomba spins around and makes it’s way back home to charge itself. Because that’s what things do in the future, they work wirelessly and then charge themselves. Contrary to what I want, I’m pricing Dyson Vacuum cleaners. Even though the Dyson is more expensive, heavier, and – most importantly – I have to do the manual labor myself, I’ve started pricing Dyson’s. And I’m not alone. Everyone I know has a Dyson. It doesn’t matter that the Roomba does everything everyone has ever said they have wanted in a vacuum. They still go with the large machine that does more or less the same thing as the other large machine they already have, only it does it slightly better.
I have the same issue with a lot of things.
Boy would it be nice to have space age material, synthetic cloths that last forever and help maintain body temperature. But what I REALLY want is a feather down coat.
It would be great to have a phone that does everything! I can read news, stay atop of politics, find out what the weather is like in Sweden. But what I REALLY want is to just… talk on the phone.
Maybe, just MAYBE, I don’t really want to bother with the future. I don’t really want to bother with ATM machines that talk in 16 languages, or a scale that tells me how many ounces I’ve gone up since yesterday. Maybe I don’t actually want the future, just a slightly improved today.